|
View Topic
Forums
:: Attendants
:: While looking up the duties of a "hostess"...
 Reply
Butterbean
Super Diva
Posts: 234
From: Dallas, Texas
|
While looking up the duties of a "hostess"...
Posted on: 10/04/2008 10:42 PM
....I came upon this "Dear Abby" letter:
DEAR ABBY: I was recently asked to be a "hostess" in a wedding. When I asked the bride what exactly my duties would be, she said I would pass out programs and make sure that all the wedding guests signed the guestbook. The bride also requested that I buy a $200 matching bridesmaid dress—which I did. With hotel and travel, the weekend cost me more than $1000.
On the morning of the wedding, I was immediately put to work assembling plastic Champaign flutes and placing favors and name cards on tables, etc. While I was doing this, the wedding party was having their pictures taken. I was not invited to be in a single photo. I also missed the entire ceremony because I was assigned the job of arranging flowers in the reception hall. I was the only member of the wedding party who was expected to work in this manner.
At the reception, I was instructed to escort the bride and groom and others to their tables. It was a task I found insulting. I was also asked, via a typed "task list" handed to me by the bride’s aunt, to pour cider for the 300 guests. I was so upset, I left the reception before any cider pouring.
Do you think the bride was out-of-line—or am I out of tune with what is expected of a "hostess"? (I have rescinded my invitation for her to be a member of my wedding. Too rash?) FEELING USED IN STOW, OHIO
DEAR FEELING USED: I don’t blame you for feeling used. You were treated shamefully. You were a victim of "bait and switch." Your duties should have ended when the ceremony began. Instead you paid $1000 to be treated like a caterer.
I don’t blame you for not wanting to be reminded of this incident at the time of your own wedding. So don’t second-guess yourself about your decision to uninvite this "blushing bride." —Abby
Some people are just awful. I hope that she left the bride a bill.
Edited by Butterbean on 10/04/2008 10:43 PM
|
 Back to top |
 Quote
 Report this post to administrator
|
SWEETP
Super Diva
Posts: 310
From: Little Rock, Arkansas
|
Re: While looking up the duties of a "hostess"...
Posted on: 10/05/2008 01:56 AM
WOW....That is horrible. I have Hostesses and I thought $50 was alot for their dresses but they agreed to pay for them and were very excited. My Hostesses will only be on duty before and at the beginning of the cermony and will be included in the pics. I feel sooo sorry for this girl she was really taken advantage of.
Remember To Always Be Fabulous!!!
http://www.mywedding.com/porscheandfakhree
|
| Back to top |
Quote
Report this post to administrator
|
nicky350
Board Diva
Posts: 62
|
Re: While looking up the duties of a "hostess"...
Posted on: 10/05/2008 10:03 AM
Wow...I would never have the nerve to work someone like that esp. if I'm not paying them for it. I gather that these 2 were kinda close so I really couldn't imagine doing that to a friend!
|
| Back to top |
Quote
Report this post to administrator
|
VIPrincessBride
Super Diva
Posts: 396
From: St. Thomas, VI now residing in Baltimore
|
Re: While looking up the duties of a "hostess"...
Posted on: 10/05/2008 02:54 PM
That is terrible. That's waaay too much for hostess duties. Who did they think they were? Assembling flutes, favors, name cards, flowers...Pouring cider for 300!!!??? Escorting!!!?? Cheap! They needed a wedding coordinator and a better caterer. I wouldn't even invite her to my wedding much less be in the wedding party. Better yet, she should ask her to be "hostess" at her own wedding. LOL!
Edited by VIPrincessBride on 10/05/2008 02:56 PM
|
| Back to top |
Quote
Report this post to administrator
|
pamcrow
Vibride Queen
Posts: 1566
From: Upstate, NY
|
Re: While looking up the duties of a "hostess"...
Posted on: 10/05/2008 04:48 PM
What a terrible thing to do to someone. I totally speechless. I guess the bride picked the right one cause not to many people would have done all this.
"I'm a work in progress, God is not through me yet"
|
| Back to top |
Quote
Report this post to administrator
|
cmt
Super Diva
Posts: 395
|
Re: While looking up the duties of a "hostess"...
Posted on: 10/06/2008 09:26 AM
WOW!!! I would've left long before the reception started. BUT I would've had to let her have it before I left.
|
| Back to top |
Quote
Report this post to administrator
|
soon2bmsj
Vibride Queen
Posts: 2508
From: T-E-X-A-S
|
Re: While looking up the duties of a "hostess"...
Posted on: 10/06/2008 09:39 AM
Wow!!!!!!!!!! this is sad!! she has every right to be upset, and I agree with Abby, leave the situation and this person alone...
|
| Back to top |
Quote
Report this post to administrator
|
Ginoue
Vibride Queen
Posts: 1885
From: Maryland, Florida after we're married!!
|
Re: While looking up the duties of a "hostess"...
Posted on: 10/07/2008 12:42 PM
What a terrible thing to do. I have 2 hostesses and ushers which I called my "Ladies-in-Waiting" and they will be walking down the aisle first, they will be in every picture occasion, they will also be walking down the aisle immediately after me, keeping my gown straight and they will be honored with all my other attendants.
I could never dream of treating someone like that. So, having a hostess does not mean that this person is your wedding planner or part of the catering crew.
http://kerlimpsandmicka.weddingannouncer.com/
|
| Back to top |
Quote
Report this post to administrator
|
mrsdhudson
Super Diva
Posts: 249
|
Re: While looking up the duties of a "hostess"...
Posted on: 10/07/2008 01:04 PM
That is just pitiful...I agree with cmt on this one, she would've felt my feedback as soon as I received that "to-do" list from an aunt! What kind of crap is that? I would've had to let her have it!!!
|
| Back to top |
Quote
Report this post to administrator
|
ieasha
Super Diva
Posts: 536
From: Riverdale, GA
|
Re: While looking up the duties of a "hostess"...
Posted on: 10/07/2008 02:24 PM
Yeah I am with you! That to do list would of been a dont do list! $1000? Nah man that is just ridiculous!
Get it together....India Arie
|
| Back to top |
Quote
Report this post to administrator
|
Bumblebeekee
Vibride Queen
Posts: 1820
From: Tallahassee, FL (Originally Ft. Lauderdale, FL)
|
Re: While looking up the duties of a "hostess"...
Posted on: 10/08/2008 12:55 PM
Ya'll said it best. I have no illusions, so I tend to decline weddings a lot. Unless I have a specific role. Even at my own wedding I had my host and hostesses just black and white. My head hostess gathered them all together and they decided to wear all black. And they looked sharp! They didn't have to buy anything! I was so humbled at them helping me I was greatful for anything they did for me. Some brides are so daggone selfish and high on the hog. I hate when people just EXPECT you to feel like its an honor to be in their wedding when it should be the opposite. If you didn't ask me to do it before hand, you are not gonna get me to pour 300 ciders at the spur of the moment. And where were the other hostesses and the reception staff? Aren't the reception staff paid to do that anyways? Just trifling!
|
| Back to top |
Quote
Report this post to administrator
|
Reply
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
|
What's Related
These might interest you as well
Link Manager
Article Manager
|
