Hello Everyone! I know most of you remember me and wonder what happen well I am going to tell you so grab a chair you gonna be mad and sad at the same time.
Most of you know that I got married 12/18/07. On 1/26/08 my marriage of a month took a turn of devestation. I came back from the wedding/honeymoon and packed up my life to move from NJ to GA to be with the man I married. On 1/26/08 I took a flight came to GA. I got to our new home put the key in the door only to find my new husband in bed with a 16 year old girl. Apparently in GA it is legal for a 32 year old man to sleep with a 16 year old girl so I basically got laughed out of the police station when I went to file a complaint. That is the gist of that half of the story.
Moving on, I have spent the last 8 months trying to figure out what went wrong and how I could of spent 4 years of my life with someone who could marry me and let me go through the hurt and the pain that I have endured. When asked, Why did you marry me if these were your intension? I was told I KNEW YOU WOULDN'T STAY IN MY LIFE IF YOU KNEW I CHEATED. Selfish right? This from the man who is teachin our children in our school systems....but its legal here in GA. SMH
Now, I am still in the healing process. I am now located in GA because I didn't want to be in NJ and I am in the process of trying to rebuild my life and my sanity. I have to tell you it has not been easy at all but I am makin it. I have wanted so much to come on here and talk to my good old inspirational Rhonda but I just couldn't. I have lost my faith in the love of a husband and wife but I have not lost my faith.
Hold on to your faith .. it will see u through sister!
Don't let the ignorance selfishness of one man steal your light!
Remember there is always a divine plan, we may not know what it is but there is a plan. No it won't be easy.. But hang on... Just hang on! You will rebuild and when the time is right God will send forth his hand in a way you never thought possible.
Ieasha I am sooooo sorry to hear what you are going through. I know there is nothing I can say that will ease the pain but please know that your sistas are here for you. Please know that God has already worked it out and has blessings on the way.
"I'm a work in progress, God is not through me yet"
Posts: 396
From: St. Thomas, VI now residing in Baltimore
Re: Remember Me...
Posted on: 08/20/2008 08:05 AM
Wow. I couldn't believe your story when I read it...seems like a TV movie or something. I'm so sorry to read that happened to you. Now I understand why some men in the south get hot grits poured on them! :o) It sounds like you really got a rotten apple there. I know it would have been better to find out about him before the wedding. But at least you still found out early on. I hope you were able to get your marriage annulled right away. The most important thing is for you to know is that he didn't cheat because of you. So, don't blame yourself for ANY of this! Women sometimes spend so much time blaming themselves for these things and trying to figure out what they did wrong. DON'T! He cheated because he's a no good son of a gun. He didn't even give your marriage a chance. He doesn't like women, he likes little girls. Shame on him! Girl, where's my frying pan??!!! Me and Madea need to come down there and beat that goood-for-nothing.
Really, though, I hope that toxic bastard is out of your life for good and that you are turning to God and praying everyday for your healing. If you went thru that, it only means that your blessing is going to be phenomenal. Hold on, Sistah!
WHOA!! WOW!!! HUH!!! WTF!!! are the words running through my mind right now!!! :(
my dear sister ieasha...I am soooo sorry to hear of all of the pain you have and are suffering!! just know that you are in the best place, with the best resource...GOD; I thank him for not allowing your faith to waiver, now ask him to work on healing your heart so you can move forward and find the true MAN he has for you!!
OMG, I can't believe I just read that and it really happened to you! I am sorry that you had to endure that pain. I'm sorry that he couldn't just be a man and be honest with you about how he was feeling. Ieasha, we have all been hurt in our lives, but that type of pain, I know, is unbearable. I'm glad that you have pushed forward and you know the truth. All I can tell you is to keep praying that GOD will heal and guide you in the direction you need to go. I will keep you lifted in my prayers because I know that GOD answers ALL prayers. GOD bless!!!
Posts: 1885
From: Maryland, Florida after we're married!!
Re: Remember Me...
Posted on: 08/20/2008 09:56 AM
OMG Ieasha, I'm ever so sorry for all the pain that this bastard has inflicted upon you. Wow!!! In all honesty, when we didn't hear from you, I thought that you were just getting adjusted to your new life in a new town. I had no idea all that was going on!!!
Hold on to your faith darling. Don't let this bastard make you loose your halleluiah. Keep praying and I'll keep you in my prayers as well. OH MY GOD!!! I'm still shocked. I'm so, so very sorry.
Ieasha sweetie ...my heart SANK! In the midst of it all ...praise HIM. And continue to praise until your heart is a little less heavy day by day. The outcome of that situation could have been very messy ...and you MAY have gotten off. Thank the Lord you didn't let the devil steal mind, he may have stolen your man ..but your mind is still yours ..and that's most important. Don't let this one man alter your thinking of all men, just know that all men are capable of anything under the sun. Continue your faith in and eyes on HIM ..that's where your help comes from.
Iesha, I am sooooo sorry to hear what you've had to endure for these past 8 months. In the natural, I dont have the words to say that can ease the pain that you feel, but in the spirit, keep your head up and dont lose your faith. The trying of your faith works patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that you may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. (meaning) when your faith is being tested, keep enduring and trusting in GOD, and you will be perfected (by GOD)and complete (in GOD), needing nothing. Remember, God is your VERY PRESENT help in times of trouble. And he tells us in his word, that when we feel or have a spirit of heaviness, put on the garment of praise. So even though you may not feel like it, give Him the fruit of your lips. And I promise you Iesha, that you will come out of this as pure gold.
Oh Ieasha! Thank you for coming back and sharing your story with us. I missed you. Rhony still comes on here quite often and I know she will be glad to hear from you. Send her a private note.
I am proud of you for rebuilding your life and not letting negativity hold you down for long. It is a horrible scar on your heart but you will grow from it. Stay strong.
Just remember that God doesn't answer the prayer you want him to answer , thank him anyway because often , his substitution is the best thing for you .
Just keep your head up God ,don't let the devil get the glory.
WOW Ieasha, I can't even IMAGINE what you are going through. All I can say is that God will bring you through it!!! This probably won't help now but THANK GOD you found that out now then 5-10 years down the line when you have SOOOO much more vested in the relationship. I know it hurts and I know it's hard, but like others have said, don't let one triflin' man make you bitter. If you let him make you bitter and lose your faith in all men, then he has won and he still has the control over you. PRAY PRAY PRAY so God can give you the strength to continue going through this....you'll definitely come out as pure gold!!! And when God is ready to send you that man who is really your mate for life....you'll be ready.....I will continue praying for you my Vibride sister!
Ieasha, wow I think my heart skipped a beat reading through your post. I'm so sorry to hear about what went on. Sister I hope you are not letting this man(i mean boy, because he is no man) bring you down. If anything let it lift you up that you found out about this no good SOB sooner then later. You will be ok. I'm praying for you.
This man is working in the school system and is doing this? Something needs to be done.
I am so sorry to hear about your situation. I cant believe that he could do something like that. It is so crazy that they can really allow something like that to continue.
I will pray for you sista. Keep the faith and know that GOD will continue to bring you thru it. I wish you the best...
OMG Ieasha -- first off I am so glad to hear from you, although saddened by the circumstances (shedding a tear). My hubby and I were just speaking of you just the other day. Your kindness has forever touched our lives.
My dear sister you are a jewel!!!! The person you married doesn't deserve to be in your presence, let alone share your life with you. I am terribly disappointed that you have had to endure such pain. The Master will see you through it all! My heart goes out to you and your son! You are an amazing person and I'm praying for your healing.
There is nothing you can do to understand why some people choose such a path of negativy, with no regard for the effect it will have on other people. Take the time you need to heal, God is calling you for a higher purpose. I am praying for you.
I am sending you a great BIG hug all the way from Jersey City, NJ. God Bless!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Thank you all for the support. It has been an extremely rough road but its getting better that is why I am back, I can finally talk about it without throwin up. Sure no one wants to go thru that but the thing that kills me the most is this man is allowed to work in the school system with other people's teenage daughters, I fear for those young ladies. I am however continuing to fight these GA laws because it should be atleast considered statutory rape. Day by day I shall gain my pride and sanity back, slowly but surely. Thank you guys. This site has, is and will always be the best!
I agree. I remember 16. You are so butt stupid, but think you are all grown up. I just can't imagine where this is OK. He is working with children, so it makes it even more shady that nothing can be done. I wonder how her parents would feel if they knew this was going on.
Posts: 396
From: St. Thomas, VI now residing in Baltimore
Re: Remember Me...
Posted on: 08/20/2008 11:01 PM
I was wondering the same thing ieasha. I'm sure you were in shock at the time. But I'm thinking I would have called her parents on the phone and gotten them over there or call the police right away and let them get her parents over there, or pulled that lil heffa up, taken her home, and knocked on her parents door.
What happened? Did you get her parents involved? Do they know? She needs her tail spanked! If the police wouldn't arrest him for statutory rape, I think I would have embarrassed the heck out of him by making sure his employers know what he did. Other parents sure can't be down for that mess teaching their children.
Iesha I am soooo sorry to hear of all the pain and hurt u have been going threw. I know they say god does everything for a reason.Trust and believe in that!!I will keep u in my prayers sister and u keep moving on with your life. And let God deal with your husband !!!!
I am so sorry to heasr that. When I am in a lot of pain I read this passage in the Bible. I copied it for you. It is Romans 5:3-5. I'll keep you in my prayers. Is "Ieasha" your first name?
3Not only so, but we[c] also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
I love the book of Romans. It helps me a lot. I have a woman's devotional Bible and I print and share the verses with others all the time. Another verse is Romans 8:28. It teaches us that all things that happen have a reason. It is hard to see the sense in things when we are in pain but some how there is a purpose. I know in my case the pain I was in was a call to help others in similar situations.
28And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,[j] who[k] have been called according to his purpose.
OMGoodness. Ieasha, I am truly sorry to hear what has happened. I was thinking about you the other day. I am originally from Georgia and I could have sworn that having sex with someone under 18 is considered "statutory rape". This guy needs to be placed under the jail (I have a 16 year old daughter so I take this type of thing personal.) As a matter of fact, he needs his @$$ kicked and so does she. Did her parents press charges?
I know it hurts but atleast you found out when you did instead of years later. Remember, he's the one that messed up,don't blame yourself. It's his loss. You're smart, beautiful, strong, and ambitious. What he didn't treasure, another "deserving" man will. So, until that deserving man comes along, continue to love yourself and enjoy life. The other sisters have given great advice.
Anyway, I know how you feel so if you need to talk, please feel free to send me a private message. We love you!
Hi Ieasha, I felt so sad when I read your message I felt like part of my heart broke, you are such a strong strong lady. I am so proud of you, and your resilience. Truth is, I agree with all the other ladies like SOON and PLAT- when they say that it might not seem like it, but its better that the true colors came shining through now, rather than 5 or 10 years down the road. And yes if he works in the school system, he has a duty of care to students under his guidance, whether or not it is legal is irrelevant when it comes to people who are entrusted with the care of minors, it would be completely innappropriate for him to conduct himself in that manner, and I would bet its against the rules of the school. (Damn some universities do not condone faculty student relationships) and these are adults- just because it is a position or authority and influence which could be manipulated or misconstrued. Hmmm I want to scream!! Hold your head up sister- you are a testament to the strength and grace of a woman. Keep praying- HE knows
i am sorry to hear ur story. but guess what? god took you out of a situation that who knows what else could have gone wrong. just heard another story over the weekend where the groom didn't turn up for the rehearsal and didn't even call. when they finally tracked him down ( on the day of the wedding) he claims he got tied up at work. there was no wedding cause he wasn't there for that either. my mother always says if God closes a door, don't try to open/reopen it. He knows why. Leave it in his hands. it will hurt cause we are all human but trust him to know what is best for our lives. He's working it out for us; and guess what, it'll be something bigger and better than we could have ever dreamed up. so praise God Lady Ieasha, even in your hurt and pain, cause who knows what else might have happened if He hadn't opened your eyes to the lies and betrayal.
Reply
Back to top
Quote
Report this post to administrator
