Posts: 1768
From: Tallahassee, FL (Originally Ft. Lauderdale, FL)
SO SICK OF IT!
Posted on: 07/03/2008 08:33 AM
Okay girls, I love talking about babies as you know since I work for WIC....BUTTTTT I am SOOOO SICK of people asking me "when are you all going to have a baby?" Agh!
SOmetimes, yes sometimes I wish I was experiencing that wonderful feeling....especially when I get a little hormonal (I.e that time of the month)! I let it get to me so much, I got mad at my poor DH when I saw my period this month!!!!! Then I got back to reality when I remembered our Caribbean trip coming up, and that LV bag I have been eyeing lately on their website! Cause when it comes down to it, as fun as babies seem, I am just not ready! And apparently neither is my husband as he rejoices at his ability to delay such an event! (He is crazy ya'll!)
The other day I had a not-so flattering shirt on (I need to do laundry ya'll), and I guess it poofed out in the middle, and one client asked me if I was expecting later this year-I wanted to....Everytime I go around other newlyweds who were pregnant within 6 months of being married, people look at us like we are "having problems". Since we are not pregnant yet!...Someone even asked "is everything alright?" Like we are SUPPOSED TO be pregnant by now....! I am just tired tired tired of it! My husband's cousin swore to God I was pregnant-she said I "looked bright"...But I told her I am always this light....Its just the last time she saw me, I was spending a lot of time outside and was a little more bronze when she saw me last summer.....Now that I work, I am in AC all day...ugh but nevermind...I am ranting, but I am sick of it.....Thanks for listening.....Why can't people just let us take our time...besides....Its just too expensive right now, and we are focusing on traveling! Why can't people respect that?!?!?!
well Bumble---I think it is because people equate marriage with babies...I know it is hard to deal with and especially when you are having those "baby blues" but just know when you and DH are ready it will happen and then you will wear the poofy shirts with pride!! LOL
Girl I can completely relate. People are looking more foward to me dropping kids all over the place than my upcoming nuptials.
My mom very so subtly mentions "grandkids" coming over and blah blah. Right now my dog is her "granddog," and it may stay like that for a minute.....lol.
People just don't seem to understand that having children isn't on everyone's "to do list." They are a HUGE responsibility and frankly, some people are far happier without bearing any-which is perfectly fine. I feel like this, if I'm blessed to have them, it'll happen. If not, my life will still have meaning and purpose and will still be fill with joyious occassions and other stuff. My FH and I aren't "planning" for any-does that mean somethings wrong? NOPE. So for all those folks that are ready for you to have kids, when they voluntarily become your live in nanny and help you 24/7 care for these little tikes-that should be a GREAT time to have them....LMAO.
Bumble, you know I LIVED that life! Just smile and say "we are PLANNING our family. There are so many things we can offer a child in a few years. We are lucky we have a choice in the matter. SO many people didn't."
It has shut everybody up that has ever asked me. Rmember I didn't get pregnant until I was 35 and on my 10th wedding anniversary. So I am an advocate of waiting until YOU are ready.
Poor Bumble- I agree with Rosie, people want to type cast you and put you in certain categories, or sometimes they just mean well. Its even the same with marriage, me and FH are engaged and now people want to stress us about when the wedding is, hmmm and I am sure the baby thing will follow. Its people who live vicariously through your experiences, those who are bored with their own lives and need something to speculate about, and also those who love you and are really excited about the experience for you. Strategy, deal with them all the same way- its YOUR life and you have YOUR OWN PLANS- lmao- wow its so funny how people want to get involved in your plans isnt it.
OHH ALSO- I think I have been on the other side where I asked cousins/relatives and especially my sister in law- when are you having a baby??when are you getting married?? Not in a bad way...but because you are so excited- I am SURE you have been there and done that
Posts: 373
From: virginia beach, VA (hometown and wedding in NYC)
Re: SO SICK OF IT!
Posted on: 07/03/2008 04:19 PM
I think we all do unconciously and sometimes we just don't even realize how annoying it is. I have children already and I get heated when people tell them to ask me when I am going to give them a brother.
Believe it or not, people ask me when am I going to give my hubby another child. We have been married almost 2 years and they think it's time. My daughter is 18 years old. Although I would love to have another child, it is not in our plans. (Sometimes the thought of starting all over again terrifies me!) My church family is famous for this, they ask me all the time and I don't want to be rude, but we are not even entertaining this idea. We want to enjoy ourselves and life. Bumble, I totally understand.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Rhony, I'm in that same boat with ya. People keep saying "well you only have one and she's grown now. Don't you want one with your husband". I just look at them with a crazy look and say "didn't you just hear yourself say my daughter is grown now?" I can't even picture another child at this point. Yeah when I see infants and toddlers, I start feeling like maybe I might want another but then I remember, they don't stay infant and toddlers forever. I don't think I even have the patience anymore for child rearing. I'll just wait to become a grandma which hopefully won't be anytime soon.
"I'm a work in progress, God is not through me yet"
Posts: 305
From: St. Thomas, VI now residing in Baltimore
Re: SO SICK OF IT!
Posted on: 07/08/2008 03:32 PM
My new hubby and I hadn't event walked down the aisle yet before family and friends were asking when we're going to have children. So, my response was, "We're not even married yet. That's a personal question, but thank you for asking." Or "Whenever God blesses us." LOL! Folks are so anxious to put the cart before the horse. When did reproduction timing between a married couple become a topic for public conversation?
I have a confession!! Yesterday on the train coming home after work, I bumped into this girl I always used to commute with. She was a few months pregnant the last time I saw her (you know those commuter buddies you smile and chat with after seeing them everyday for months)- Okay so I talk too much. So anyway she looked thin like a needle, and I wasnt sure whether to ask how the baby was- it had been a long time. She was like yeah I had my little girl- she is now one year and four months old. I was like, word its been that long. Anyway we chatted for a few minutes with her telling me how happy her hubby was with two princesses to cater to. THEN LORD HELP ME...I said..."you should go ahead and get her a playmate soon and get it out of the way!!!"
SLAP ME NOW- all of you....I felt like such an idiot. She was like yeah everyone keeps telling her that, and she just smiled and said, well we will see. WOW...I let down the sisterhood
Posts: 1768
From: Tallahassee, FL (Originally Ft. Lauderdale, FL)
Re: SO SICK OF IT!
Posted on: 07/10/2008 03:16 PM
We ALL have our moments....thats why I said Karma is a trip! But hey, I was venting because I got to see how it feels....But thats still funny! Its pretty cool to see the shoe on our own foot once we put a microscope to ourselves...! Karma karma karma....boy isn't she a mess!?!?!
Reply
Back to top
Quote
Report this post to administrator
