Posts: 88
From: virginia beach, VA (hometown and wedding in NYC)
Invitation Attitude
Posted on: 05/07/2008 05:21 PM
So as you know my invites went out a week ago. I didn't register for my wedding because I have been with FH for awhile and I didn't want to plus I am getting married in NY and I live in VA. Anyway my aunt is angry that I didn't put in my invites that I want monetary gifts only. TOO BAD!!!! She was like people are gonna be calling about it. I was like so what they won't be calling you. She lives in VA and hates when you ask her to do something but yet she was like I could have had the gifts sent to her house GIVE ME A BREAK. I had to say a little prayer before I even responded. My cousin on a different side, springbride360, some of you might remember her, did not put MONETARY GIFTS ONLY in her invite last year but the word got around. I think my aunt is mad because her daughter registered at three different stores for her February 2008 wedding I thought that was kind of tacky and didn't even get that much. I was the only fool that was walking in their with two big bed, bath, and beyond bags. Not to mention I invited 300 plus people I could see it now lugging all that crap back to VA oh no not me. Just venting. Family will try to pull you down at every chance they get.
gurl I hear you. i'm in the same situation as far as my FH and I combined two households and we didn't see the necessity to register however as part of my invitation kit I sent I stated we didn't register for gifts but if someone felt inclined to get us something we'd want gift cards from Lowes (I'm a home improvement addict! LOL) and some people have just outright asked and I told them about the gift card deal. Sounds like your aunt wanted to go through the gifts! LOL
Mrs080908, I'm so sorry that you're going through family drama, but that's family for you.
I'm also getting married in New York and will be relocating to Florida afterwards. My saving grace is that a lot of people coming from Florida will be driving up and has offered to take our gifts back to florida for us (we didn't ask though). My brother-in-law said that he would rent a 12-passenger van if he has to in order to make sure that all my things and gifts get to my new home safely.
Some family just can't let you be happy, but we're christians so, I'd say forgive your aunt's shortcomings and carry on with your plans. Take a deep breath, if that doesn't work, do what I do. GO to your kitchen girl and mix yourself the perfect margarita and relax with music blasting for a while(LMAO).
Mrs080908, it seems like Akitten's idea would have worked well for you. If people ask you about it, you could verbally tell them something like what Akitten included in her invitations.
And Ginoue, what part of Florida are you moving to?
Posts: 88
From: virginia beach, VA (hometown and wedding in NYC)
Re: Invitation Attitude
Posted on: 05/07/2008 09:38 PM
I know Keithbride I should have asked before I sent them off. but hey at $100 per plate she can stay her tail home.
Ladies let me explain how crazy my family is. It's alot of us my nana on my mother's side only has 3 kids but I had to invite her 13 brothers/sisters, not to mention my grandfather's 6 siblings and their children (cousins) and the crazy part is I am close to almost all of them. Not to mention my father's side his 8 sibling and their kids. With a family like mine I should have eloped. My uncle's baby mama is mad because I invited her and not her 9 year old. One ever said I will pay for my son's plate. This is an adult reception people. Since my aunt's last message I have recieved even more stupid calls. except it's FH family who have never been to real wedding. They asked questions like the RSVP card says 2 does that mean I can bring two people besides myself. WHAT? or I thought the magnet(Save The Date) was the invitation? Or how about this one Why we gotta send the little card back too we just called you to RSVP. Lord have mercy. I forwarded all my calls to my Maid of Honor's phone shoot.
Pamcrow, You were so write they call no matter what.
That is too too funny!!! Spread the word about monetary gifts, and pray you dont get toasters and blenders lol. Wow its such drama with invitations isn't it....I think I might do an email mass mailing!! just kidding :)
Didn't know springbride was your cousin! How is she and her DH? The baby? Tell her she still owes us pics of the little one! She stopped by and announced it when the baby was born.
My family is just like yours. Extended family is not so extended! My maternal grandmother was raised with her aunts and uncles when her mother died so her 1st cousins are my mother, aunts, and uncles ages. Everyone hits the highway for whatever event is happening like its just up the street! I have people coming from New Orleans, Houston, LA, Phoenix, Atlanta, Charlotte, Minneapolis, and DC! And these are my 2nd and 3rd cousins! But we're all very close regardless of the distance.
Stay calm and cool. Ignore the ignorance and get ready for your day!
Mrs080908 my aunt said the same thing about the RSVP's! LOL She was like, "you know I'm gonna come, so why send it back?" My wedding is the first OFFICIAL wedding in our family so a lot of this stuff is new to them because they all got hitched at city hall, including my parents. So I try to exercise patience since I'm following the wedding guidlines for a traditional wedding they aren't accustomed to. In my invitation kit, there was the invitation and reply card, an information sheet on the events the day before and the day of the wedding that detailed where the wedding is being held, where the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner was being held, information about not registering for gifts and what we'd prefer if someone did want to give us a gift (gift cards...lol)hotel information and how to reserve the room, important numbers to reach key people. Then sent them info on the Maryland/D.C. area, driving directions, visitors guide, etc. I had to handle these folks with kid gloves because they are all coming from New York (home sweet home....)for the exception of my godbrother whose coming from Vegas. I don't know how much more detailed I could have gotten and I'm dreading the calls I might get asking dumb a** questions that were already answered in my info sheet (RME).....lol
Posts: 1543
From: Tallahassee, FL (Originally Ft. Lauderdale, FL)
Re: Invitation Attitude
Posted on: 05/08/2008 09:51 AM
Wha!!!????!!! Springbride360 had a baby? She is your cousin? I must live under a rock because I don't know ANYTHING anymore!?!? Lol...Tell her congrats from her vibride sistah's...I Guess I missed that one...Or I have alzheimers (Highly possible too!)
Ladies, I just dont think they get it. Perhaps they think its kinda like a backyard barbecue bring anyone you want, there's enough hamburgers and franks for everyone. I DON'T THINK SO!
I'm sorry I have to be so harsh, but and the end of dinner you will be writing a check out for half of what you already paid out for you venue if you don't watch these people.
PEBBLES, my best friend who is also my matron of honer does not mind putting people in their place. I will just sic her on them. Cause I will NOT I repeat will NOT foot that bill.
The good & bad thing about weddings is not everyone that replies yes to the invite actually comes and you WILL have some uninvited guests/or those who failed to reply show. Hopefully it will all even itself out. This is where having a coordinator is helpful. Armed with a seating chart they can seat the uninvited/failed to reply in one of the "no show" seats without disturbing the bride & groom. I'm not exactly sure anymore but I think at my wedding I had about 6 or 7 people pull a no show but then I had about 5 show who weren't invited so I ended up only paying for two plates that went to waste. There should be a law that places doggie bag those plates for no show guests!!
"I'm a work in progress, God is not through me yet"
Posts: 88
From: virginia beach, VA (hometown and wedding in NYC)
Re: Invitation Attitude
Posted on: 05/08/2008 11:54 PM
I had a beautiful day today. The word must have gotten around about the no gifts and I did't recieve any phone calls.
As far as springbride360, she is my unoffical consultant although I have a day of wedding planner their is nothing like a family member to call up and ask every little question especially when I have a million and one. Her new little girl is fine also. I will get a picture to post the next time I go home.
Pamcrow and sensationably,
I know I said i was not like FH ghetto family but I am definitely putting some aluminum pans in the limos cause I want every dime of my food to go home with my mother. Lol
I am going on my honeymoon and leaving my children with her and they are gonna need to eat and she is paying for it. Whatever is left over is mine. I might go crazy if I see a waiter eating my food. LMAO
Me and DH also didnt want to register anywhere as we already have a house full of "stuff"
Anyway...whenever people asked my parents where we were registered they just told them..that we didnt register anywhere ..most people would respond by saying "we will just write a check"
That worked out perfectly. We only ended up with 5 wrapped gifts ...the rest was cards with money...LOL
We did end up doing a honeymoon registry which also worked out great. We had several people who gave money to that so it offset the money we spent while away. We didnt have to use a dime of our own money on our honeymoon.
My FH and I did register, however the registry lists are very, very, very slim. I figured people would get the hint and just give us cash. We've been living toghether for 5 years now, so we are pretty established.
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