This is a spin off from the other advice to upcoming brides post inspired by Plat's last post about the advice her MIL told her DH.
Now that you are married, what advice were you told?
One of my "aunts" said to me: DON"T LET NOBODY TELL YOU ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND!!! She told me when someone calls themselves bringing me news about him, stop them before they start. She said God will reveal whatever I need to know.
"I'm a work in progress, God is not through me yet"
Now I believe that PamCrow -- that is an awesome piece of advice!!!
I was told to always keep God first. The family that prays together stays together. I am very blessed in that although my husband doesn't go to church with my daughter and I -- he does believe in praying. We pray as a family and I believe that my relationship is all the more stronger because of it.
I also learned a lot of lessons from friends who are no longer married. I believe that married women (and men) should act married and honor their committment. My family comes first, period (my husband feels the same way). That goes for my inlaws, my extended family, and friends.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Now that is some awesome advice!!! Well I'm so strong willed, noone in my family dared to offer me any advice, So I'm gonna take what you ladies post and run with it!!!
Posts: 1762
From: Tallahassee, FL (Originally Ft. Lauderdale, FL)
Re: Married now, advice I was given
Posted on: 12/07/2007 03:13 PM
A lady told us at the FAMU Classic: When he talks, you shut up....and when I'm talking, he should shut up....that didn't work the next day cause we got in a big fight.....but, it is good advice to get couples to listen to each other...and we try our best....
the best advice that I have been given (with my upcoming marriage) came from my first lady:
"Always go to the Lord with problems in your marriage", pray for healing, strength, guidance and patience even if YOU feel it is not your fault; NEVER bring others into your relationship unless it is someone that is trying to help you restore it. Never listen to the outsiders with negativity...those are the same people that will give you advice to bring discord to your marriage/household (ex: girl, if that was me I would...) when they are going or have been thru things themselves and failed to take their own advice"
Posts: 1753
From: Maryland, Florida after we're married!!
Re: Married now, advice I was given
Posted on: 12/08/2007 11:07 AM
My grandmother (may God bless her soul) always told us the following:
1. Pick your battles ~ don't nag your husbands about unnecessary stuff. Men don't like women who are constantly nagging about the same subject.
2. Be careful of the things that you say to each other ~ if you're angry, it's okay to tell your mate very quietly that you do not wish to discuss it right now, or to drop the subject, because once you say something in anger to your mate, a million "I'm sorry" cannot undo the damage or the sting of those words.
3. Never go to bed angry ~ while it's okay to be angry with your mate, remember that you told him that you will talk about it later. Then later on, after praying together, sit with each other and have a quiet discussion about what it was that angered you in the first place. Forgive whatever it was. Kiss each other "Good night" and go to sleep with an empty heart and when you wake up in the morning, do not rehash yesterday's issue. This will always keep peace in your marriage.
*** There's a whole lot more that my beloved grandmother use to tell us girls, but I think that those would be more helpful to the forum.
No problem Plat. I was really curious to hear what others were told because I might need to remember their advice also.
Ginoue you are so right about being careful of what you say to each other. Saying I'm sorry can't fix everything and if we all remember this advice we would save ourselves lots of heartache.
"I'm a work in progress, God is not through me yet"
*BUMP*
I wanted to bump this topic because I had a very interesting conversation with one of my associate ministers today-he asked me how things were going and I was saying everything is on track but FH is still having issues keeping up with his people and it is so frustrating to try to get them all fitted etc; his reply to me was this:
"Plan a marriage-not a wedding; a wedding is just for a few hours, a marriage is a lifetime. Don't get so wrapped up in planning the wedding and forget to seek God and pray about and for your marriage; whatever will/will not happen for the wedding so be it, your marriage and God's blessing is what you should be after."
After he said that I thought about it and it does make sense. I know all of us are striving to have the "best" wedding with everything in order, but how many of us are focusing on making sure our marriage is in order according to God?
Posts: 1762
From: Tallahassee, FL (Originally Ft. Lauderdale, FL)
Re: Married now, advice I was given
Posted on: 12/31/2007 10:26 AM
Listen to this minister!....because 1/2 of the stuff you put together you MAY see in the pictures if you get a good photographer(s) and videographer(s) to catch it all.....hint hint on where to slurge! AND after the day is done you won't even know if all the guests actually arrived, if the BM's REALLY wore the shoes you wanted them to wear (it happens),if everyone got their dress on time or the day before or if everyone stood in place, or this flower was used, or if x, y, and z person was on time....and guess what, you can do NOTHING about this on wedding day anyways....all you will see when you walk in is happy faces looking at you walk down the aisle, you'll say your vows, take communion, etc, and leave....you are actually the middle/end of the program....as far as the reception, set up is out of your hands also.....the marriage (finances, children, work, vacation, chores, household) is the main focus.....:)
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