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Forums :: New to the board? :: Helpful FH?

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mrsmaestro
Newbie


Posts: 12
From: Springfield, Ohio

Helpful FH?
Posted on: 11/07/2007 08:08 PM
Hey ladies! Okay... I've been engaged all of 11 days (smile) and I'm already knee deep in planning. Needless to say, I've been planning this wedding a couple years before I even got engaged, so I'm pretty much set on what I want and how I want it. FH kept making (minor) suggestions and I would politely reject them until he finally said (jokingly, but serious), "Okay, you go ahead and have your wedding, and I'll see you at the marriage." We laugh about it, but he has a good point, lol. I was just wondering how much other FH's are helping with the wedding planning. Should I take his suggestions into serious consideration?
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IvyPrincess
Super Diva


Posts: 446
From: Philadelphia, PA

Re: Helpful FH?
Posted on: 11/08/2007 08:13 AM
Yes you should, remember it is his day too. If you can't take his suggestions on everything, give him a project, like he can take care of the rehearsal dinner or something, so that he feels a part of everything.
Real love requires a minimum of emotion and a maximum of the will - Bishop Keith W. Reed, Sr.

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DaughterRhonda
Site Admin


Posts: 7827
From: Jersey City, NJ

Re: Helpful FH?
Posted on: 11/08/2007 08:17 AM
I agree with you ladies -- if the guys want to help out, let them, they are getting married too!

When I was in the planning stages, my husband didn't help with anything. He did help me with the colors and after that, the rest was on me. However, he did kick it into high gear on the night of the rehearsal -- who would've known he had it in him --LOL!!!!
Daisypath Next Aniversary Ticker
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
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djimonsmom
Board Diva


Posts: 142
From: Forestville, MD

Re: Helpful FH?
Posted on: 11/08/2007 09:22 AM
I agree with you all, let him get involved. So many women stress themselves out trying to handle everything when they have a partner willing, capable and ready to assist. My FH and I came up with an agreement before we got engaged. I handle the layout of the ceremony (church decor, song selection, even his tux) we both handle the reception, and he plans the honeymoon. Oh and he also choose the invitation layout. We chose colors, location, date and things of that sort together. I try to keep him as involved as possible.

Nothing like venting about something and the other party has no point of reference what you are talking about..
Striving for better than my Best!!!
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pamcrow
Vibride Queen


Posts: 1545
From: Upstate, NY

Re: Helpful FH?
Posted on: 11/08/2007 10:04 AM
djimonsmom
Nothing like venting about something and the other party has no point of reference what you are talking about..


Dj (hope you're okay with the nickname) you are so right. My DH didn't participate in any of the planning except menu choices so whenever I would vent my frustrations, he thought I was making mountains out of molehills. A point of reference would have helped big time. You and your FH have a nice agreement set up for your planning. When all is said and done, you can both put your feet up and say "we did it"
"I'm a work in progress, God is not through me yet"
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platinumstyle
Vibride Queen


Posts: 1733
From: Jacksonville Florida

Re: Helpful FH?
Posted on: 11/08/2007 10:32 AM
I agree with the ladies. If he wants to help, let him. My FH usually says "Whatever you decide". I wish he would give me more input. Lol!
Born Blessed!
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Turiya
Super Diva


Posts: 983
From: Maryland

Re: Helpful FH?
Posted on: 11/08/2007 10:34 AM
Let him do his thing too! Yall are going to be one ;) Although my FH heeeeelps out, or just come left field with his own stuff ...I welcome it ...sometimes with clinched teeth ..but I welcomed it ...

I wanted to tell yall this too ..

We were in Michaels taking advantage of their 40-70% off until this saturday sale ..:) and I said we need some of those petals ..he says ..oh yeah I need some too, I was quiet for a moment to see if there was going to be a follow up..NOTHING ...so I say is it a secret why YOU need petals ...he says NO ...I wanna throw some at where you will be standing after you come half way down the aisle ..I want MY WIFE to be standing on a pool of petals ...my teeth wasn't clinching then ..I was amazed at him wanting to do that...

So welcome his ideas girl ..>:)
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pamcrow
Vibride Queen


Posts: 1545
From: Upstate, NY

Re: Helpful FH?
Posted on: 11/08/2007 10:40 AM
Turiya ...I wanna throw some at where you will be standing after you come half way down the aisle ..I want MY WIFE to be standing on a pool of petals


Now that's what I'm talking 'bout. Sounds like a keeper!!!
"I'm a work in progress, God is not through me yet"
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Turiya
Super Diva


Posts: 983
From: Maryland

Re: Helpful FH?
Posted on: 11/08/2007 10:52 AM
Yeah ...he deserved a small forehead kiss for that one ..:)
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soon2bmsj
Vibride Queen


Posts: 2453
From: T-E-X-A-S

Re: Helpful FH?
Posted on: 11/08/2007 10:58 AM
Turiya Yeah ...he deserved a small forehead kiss for that one ..:)

you work it girl!!! :)

Daisypath Next Aniversary Ticker
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mrsmaestro
Newbie


Posts: 12
From: Springfield, Ohio

Re: Helpful FH?
Posted on: 11/08/2007 12:15 PM
thanks for all your input, ladies! I admit that I can be pretty stubborn sometimes, but you're right, it IS his wedding too (although I often refer to it as "my" wedding). It amazes me that he is so patient & giving with me...
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Bumblebeekee
Vibride Queen


Posts: 1807
From: Tallahassee, FL (Originally Ft. Lauderdale, FL)

Re: Helpful FH?
Posted on: 11/08/2007 12:49 PM
Food
Music (DJ, Band, song selection)
Alcohol
Cake, Colors, Rehearsal Dinner, Location (honeymoon, wedding, ceremony)....


These are the things my DH had a strong opinion on......I think most men like to speak up or make the decision on...I would ask him his opinion on each of these things....If he says it doesn't matter....for the colors and maybe location you can decide....but if he brushes off the other things, you definitely want to follow up (Especially Food and Liquor) because at the last minute (especially before you pay the bills) he'll all of a sudden want to add his input...so get his feedback on thesse things sooner than later.
Daisypath Next Aniversary Ticker
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soon2bmsj
Vibride Queen


Posts: 2453
From: T-E-X-A-S

Re: Helpful FH?
Posted on: 11/08/2007 02:31 PM
FH has been pretty quite and let me make the majority of the decisions EXCEPT:

the dj/music-since he is a dj-he had to try to get the best!

the honeymoon-he said no matter WHAT happens, there better be enough money allocated for his Jamaica trip!! :)
Daisypath Next Aniversary Ticker
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