I have a problem.. well, not to be said as real problem that eats my head, but it pretty annoy me. My fiance is a very funny guy,.. he has 1000 ways to make me laugh, and personally I think he is funnier than Jim Carrey. And, his funny character is the one that drives me nuts at certain occasion. Whenever I got angry, he would do such ways that I would laugh and finally I would forget about my anger and we both ended up giggling together. But this is not right, at least for me. By doing so, he seems to have the power to "control" me, so he really takes it lightly and pays no attention when I got angry. He knows that after he performed his cute and funny activities, I would laugh, and he would be free from the sentence. This is not right... because I couldn't make my self clear in certain issue in which I planned to have serious talk. So please, is there any advise how to handle this problem?
When I'm upset a lot of times I either write it out or send it in a text message. It gives me a chance to clear my head and make sure I say everything I want to say and it keeps him from having the opportunity to try and make me laugh and forget about what the issue was.
Another thing to do is to let him know that although you are laughing now, the issue at hand will be discussed at some point and don't let him feel like because you were laughing the issue that you are having doesn't bother you.
Real love requires a minimum of emotion and a maximum of the will - Bishop Keith W. Reed, Sr.
aha! so i should write it down and then i have to carry on the issue to be discussed after the laughing part. hmmm.. thats wonderfullll!!! thank you shoooooo much!!! ^o^ I love this site!
I personally would stop homeboy dead in his tracks before he even start the joking around. I tell he we need to talk about what had just taken place and I need to express my feelings. Although I like the writing a letter thing, I would personally like us to sit down and handle the situation like adults and come to some sort of resolution. My fh is a VERY silly man who loves to joke around, however when I am serious I am serious. He knows when to draw the line and when we need to sit down and talk.
Girl I feel that, the hard part is when you have somebody that is very afraid of conflict and uses jokes as a way to hide his feelings or to avoid perceeved drama.
Real love requires a minimum of emotion and a maximum of the will - Bishop Keith W. Reed, Sr.
I am a no-nonsense-in-your-face-nip-it-in-the-bud person and my fh is a try-first-to-smooth-it-over-with-a-joke-or-something-funny-and-if-that-fails-withdraw person. I find Ivyprincess' approach works best for us and when we do talk, I am clear-headed and in enough control to express myself while he is mentally psyched up for the challenge. It is not easy expressing "negative" emotions to someone who tries to suppress theirs. Most of the time they don't know that issues do arise and that they are natural and they are still loved.
Love lights even the darkest of paths.
What Fire doesn't destroy, only makes stronger.
Even when you don't know; God knows. I will be still and let Him do His thing.
Alone in the world; but always in the company of the Lord.
If his antics seem to win you over, then whatever you are mad about probably isn't so so bad to start with. Not trying to trivalize whatever you're upset about but I think if you are seriously upset about something, him trying to introduce humor would only make a person that much angrier. If there is something you really need him to be serious about then start your conversation off by telling him you are not in the mood for jokes and the minute he starts to make a joke, stop him dead in his tracks and redirect him back to the conversation. In order to change his reaction, you are going to have to change yours.
"I'm a work in progress, God is not through me yet"
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