I really shouldn't be focused on this right now... I should really be in the bed, sleeping some good sleep but I can't. "Why?" you ask.
Well, first of all, the only thing I keep thinking about is how much I truly do love my husband. I mean just like every relationship, it takes hard work and dedication to be successful and there will alway be ups and downs but even with that being said, I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. He is my ROCK and I know that I am blessed because he was chosen for me by God & for that I am truly thankful. Sometimes, we take our loved ones for granted and it takes a REAL wake up call to make you say, let me step back and re-evaluate my words, actions, relationships...just life overall.
All of this was brought on because someone very, very near and dear to me has decided that their marriage is no longer worth fighting for & that truly hurts me. When I got the call saying "Just wanted you to know that I'm getting a divorce." All I could do is weep...yes, I said weep. Divorce, wow. When you marry someone it is FOREVER through good or bad, through thick or thin... If you are not POSITIVE this is something that you are willing to do for the person you are considering being with for the rest of your life then please, please don't get married...
It's so hard for me not to get upset about this situation because I feel like with the day and age we are in, our society has made it acceptable for people to just throw away something that was ordained so secrete by GOD. If you are a person who is coming to the realization that your marriage is not working, please don't just jump straight to divorce... There are other options I swear! Talk to each other, if you can't find common ground between the two of you on your own, there's counseling. Don't think you're weak or everything is worth throwing away because you "don't want everybody in your business." Please trust and believe that counselors have a lot more to lose if they're out around the town tellin' everyone about what's goin’ on in your life. Sometimes it takes someone else outside of the situation to really assist in evaluating and correcting the issues that are driving you apart. If all else fails, prayer always WORKS!!! It's real and I will witness to that ‘til the day I die... Anyways, thanks for letting me vent with you ladies... I'm praying for you all daily!
Great words of encouragement; please continue to keep this couple lifted in prayer because even when we believe it is hopeless, God is in total control and can turn ANY situation around!
sexidiva i can feel your emotion, and i understand exactly what you are saying. it is scary looking at how easily people walk away from each other now days, but they should realize that they can never walk away from the promise they made to GOD!
I agree that marriage is meant to be forever. Society and hollywood has made it so easy for people to up and leave and take on another without thinking of the consequences! Thank you SexiDiva and the vibride sisterhood for keeping it real and for upholding marriage as a sacred standard that God meant it to be. God bless you all!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
I take marriage seriously but I also think there are valid reasons one should seek divorce. I don't recommend anyone stay in a relationship where there is domestic violence, addiction (if persons doesn't want help), if the person is secretly sleeping with someone of same sex, if they are a molester or pedophile.
"I'm a work in progress, God is not through me yet"
Thank you for bumping this topic. I too agree that marriage is meant to be. However, when two people are married, they have to give their all. Contrary to popular belief, marriage is not a 50/50 deal. Marriage is 100/100. But, when your spouse falls short, we have to do what we can to make it work. Don't get me wrong, some marriages are irretreivably broken and we have to know when to let go. But, before we let go, we should seek advice and counseling from our spiritual leaders. And, we must always continue to pray and ask God for guidance.
I agree with you PamCrow -- because some of those people are sick, sick, sick and deceitful on top of their sickness!
However, on the other side of the coin there are people who get married with the mentality that if it don't work they'll get another -- they go into the marriage half heartedly. I personlly know someone who got married, divorced, married, divorced, etc. and she is on her 5th husband -- she is in her early 40's. I just don't get it.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Posts: 1762
From: Tallahassee, FL (Originally Ft. Lauderdale, FL)
Re: Marriage Is Meant 2 Be Forever
Posted on: 12/10/2007 10:49 AM
You know, I used to think that if 2 people were in love, making babies or WANTED to have children, that they should just go ahead and jump the broom. I couldn't understand why one or the other would hesitate so much....but 19 months after I got engaged, and am now married, I have spent much time in prayer and talking to friends who are engaged or married, and just listening to their situations....I realize not everyone can do it, or are cut out for what marriage TRULY is....sometimes I wonder if I was cut out for it, but I am soooo determined.....I think that you all are right, its meant to last forever, and if one person is hesitating while the other is wanting it more, then it should not be pursued, nor should the relationship continue, because I think marriage lasts when both the husband and wife WANT it to work....plain and simple....Its not enough to simply love someone enough...you have to decide if this person is going to be the last person you will ever make love to, flirt with, date, and do all the things couples do....
Furthermore, I think that not enough people take time to really discuss the expectations and roles that marriage requires....I think whatever the roles are, as long as the couple defines such roles and agree, then marriage should be no different (other than the legalities) than being in a true committed and loving relationship...if the woman does the work, and the man cooks and cleans I DON'T CARE as long as you agree.....people need to stop thinking the world stops and living and enjoying life is beyond the reach of a married couple....You wouldn't beleive how many people think marriage is going to stunt my career goals, etc, etc...I tell them I am married because I WANT TO BE MARRIED, and its just one more prayer God has seen fit to answer, and I am looking forward to the rest of my dreams being realized......We have to prove that marriage is a blessing, not a curse.....In my old church, my pastor would always say that a married couple is now: "Free to Worship".Thats because they can focus on God and each other, and not the next relationship or fine guy/girl they meet. Marriage is a gift and a ministry that many are called to, but few are chosen to do....we are all blessed to be chosen ladies....we have to spread the word...
You're welcomed, but I am surprised how many people don't get it when it comes to marriage. Shucks, I'm still learning myself. With Gods help and guidance, my marriage will be a success! Thanks again for sharing Bumble!!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Rhony, that's the key: you have to keep learning!! You can't be a know it all. The moment you think you know it all, you become too complacent and the marriage becomes less exciting.
"I'm a work in progress, God is not through me yet"
Posts: 1762
From: Tallahassee, FL (Originally Ft. Lauderdale, FL)
Re: Marriage Is Meant 2 Be Forever
Posted on: 12/10/2007 02:59 PM
Pam who are you tellin' girl! The one minute you think you get your husband on one thing, he wakes up and shows you another side, I mean a whole NEW thing, and its like..ahhh!..adjustment all over again....
I mean, 9 months later and I still am working to keep it spicy....I think we just work to doggone much!
I know dh probably gets sick of me telling him "baby i read this about marriage" or "baby guess what they're talking about on the radio about marriages". I just want to make sure that we know all of the obsticles we will face and have the tools to face them and overcome them. I am determined that my marriage will be in the 50% that survives, and not just survive, but happy also!
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