Hey ladies, my HB and I had a conversation today on how we should pay the bills. He wants to have both our checks deposited into one account & use it for everything (from paying bills to buying my $20 lip gloss). I disagreed and suggested that we keep doing what we're doing. We could create a household account and pay 'household' items (mortgage, groceries, etc) from that account and still maintain our individual accounts. Honestly, I'm a stickler for $ & have a nice cushion. He'll use every dime in his account down to zero on frivilous purchases. What works for you ladies?
I'm a married woman as of December 2, 2006.
Delight yourself also in the Lord & He shall give you all the desires of your heart.-Psalm 37:4
Girl, I hear you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FH tried to pull that mess. I was like "UH, HUH JACKIE!!! PUMP YO BRAKES!!!!!!!!!!!" I could see it now, I go to pay for a nice outfit or something and it's not enough in the bank because he decided to buy something new for his truck, ALL HELL IS GOING TO BREAK LOOSE UP IN NJ!!!! So, to save us the trouble, we will have an account for bills and I will definately have my own personal accoutn. He can put all of his check into the house acct, I don't care. But, Trease will definately have her own account. :-)
See...I feel that there should be one account, or "one pot" as I call it. FH and I used to disagree about this quite a bit, but eventually he came to see my side of things. The way I see it is, the mortgage has to get paid, food needs to be bought, (and we both need to indulge in some feel-good shopping) So in the long run does it REALLY matter if my lip gloss came from his check or mine? PLEASE NOTE: If you are both fiscally responsible, and neither has an extravagant/impulsive nature sharing a common pot makes the most sense.
He buys what he needs, you buy what you need...what's the problem?
I just would like to add that FH makes significantly more, so maybe I would see things differently if I was contributing more and he less...Maybe?
Posts: 1768
From: Tallahassee, FL (Originally Ft. Lauderdale, FL)
Re: Financial arrangement?
Posted on: 12/29/2006 09:10 AM
I think you should try the "household account" to see if it works.
This did not work for my aunt and her husband so they have seperate accounts. BUT they agree to be responsible for certain bills: For example, like she pays utilities and her car note and her businesses' bills. He pays other bills like mortgage, his care note, their son's needs whatever...This
Even though my mom and BF have a household account they still break up the bill responsibilities like my aunt does. So it just depends.
I can't wait to get a household account for bills to be paid cause I am a spender and my FH is a saver. I mean I save $ but I can do better. He is good with money so he can keep me on a good budget, but he is also not a cheapskate and likes to buy nice things: His Citizen watches, PS2 or XBox 360 thingamajiggies, Jordans, my 3-4 dooneys a year, etc, so I am straight. I am definitely doing that 3 account thing....
I agree, i think you should start off with a household account to see how that is managed and them maybe later on open a joint account for other things. I myself am keeping my personal account and my fh is keeping his personal account, and we will have a savings togethor and a account for the bills.
I'm going to suggest to him that we keep doing what we're doing--maintain our separate checking accounts & pay the bills, accordingly. It's been working for us this long, why change it? We've also had a joint savings account since 2004. It was initially opened to save for a house. Now it can be used as the household account.
I'm a married woman as of December 2, 2006.
Delight yourself also in the Lord & He shall give you all the desires of your heart.-Psalm 37:4
FH and I have separate accounts right now.After we tie the knot,we'll have a joint account for household expenses.But,we will also have separate accounts as well.I'm a saver and HE is the spender.Actually,he's the type to give his last dollar to anyone with their hand out.So,I'll become seriously aggravated if I go to buy something for home or myself,and there's not enough money!
That's EXACTLY our situation...I'm a rigorous saver, I check my account just about every day & I can be extremely frugal. He will spend & loan every dollar in his account, and be cool about it. I rarely hear the word: Save come out of his mouth.
I'm a married woman as of December 2, 2006.
Delight yourself also in the Lord & He shall give you all the desires of your heart.-Psalm 37:4
I personally dont think that your fh has a problem with you having your own account. I think that he may have a problem feeling like you dont trust him to manage the money well.
Since I have been in this situatuion with my FH for about 6 months I suggest you do a trial run. See how things go.If you have a buy all spend all Hubby this might not be best for you. I started depositing half my check into a joint account for bills.It kinda works for us...as time goes along its getting better. Now my money is "emergency money" and lately we haven't had any emergencies..lol.
I'm butting in. Don't Do It! Keep your account seperate. Honey, it's good that you've got a head on your shoulder. So far ( Knock on Wood) I haven't had any problems with my husband with regard to the spending of the money. He usually ask me when he's drawing out a significant amount such as 100 bucks, and I tell him whenever I do anything big. I like it that way. He seems to respect this arrangement. You're smart, stick to your guns my dear.
My FH and I plan on having a joint account for the household bills and also a savings account for trips, large purchases etc. We are going to keep our seperate personal accounts also. For us I think it just makes sense. This way if I want to purchase something just for me or if he wants to do the same, it won't cause any problems.
Instead of getting your check directly deposited into a joint account, why dont you just get a joint account and put a certain percentage in it weekly just to keep piece. I personally dont see what the bid deal with doing it that way is. You never know maybe by the two of you having an account togethor may make him more responsible because you have access to the account and the ability to monitor it.
Posts: 1768
From: Tallahassee, FL (Originally Ft. Lauderdale, FL)
Re: Financial arrangement?
Posted on: 07/21/2007 10:23 PM
Well, since we have been married, we both have our two accounts each with a checking, and I have a student account (about to close-graduate in 2 wks) which I was paying the bills with-Finanial aid is coving us for now...thats what its for...so he was paying his bills (student loans, Credit cards) and putting the rest, like 1000.00/month in his savings....Now what I think we will do is use my checking account to pay bills (I have all the checks, he barely writes them) and then everything in my savings I use to spend on my purses, clothes...He puts $$ in my savings and I just move what I want to spend to checking, and spend that amount when i need to. All of our accounts are connected so we track every penny online-
Having that access to each other's accounts (we are at the same bank) lets us still have our PRIMARY accounts but if we need to put some money in each other's accounts' we can....
....His checking account he uses to buy his things-lunch, games, etc, and his savings is THE savings account, which we NEVER withdraw from or touch except for big purchases like my new laptop...we only add to it....It sounds convoluted but it works and we've been working in that direction.....So guess I said all of that to say that if you get a system that works...work it...As long as you have $$ saved up enough for 3 months bills (Emergency Fund) in case someone loses a job or gets hurt....
In doing my research on good portfolios, many couples with lots of $$ tied up in funds and land were scored poorly because they did not have enough available cash to access in case of an emergency without having to borrow against some money tied up without penalty....so we have enough to fly until I get a job...
FH signs his checks and leaves them on the kitchen island. I manage all finances. He just wants a biweekly summary. We did have a month where he didn't have any income due to switching jobs so we had to dip into the emergency fund. Ours was 6 months living expenses though so we were cool.
So far, thanking God, this works for us. FH is in automotive sales so his check can be $300 one week and $3000 the next. I was a financial planner for 2 years so he knows there is no worry about business being handled. Whatever he needs is transferred into his account to spend however he sees fit!
My fiance and I already live together and we have a joint account and both our checks go into it. I must admit, I am much more fiscally responsible than him, and we have agreed that I will make sure the bills are paid etc on a monthly basis.
The reason the joint account works is because he and I work from a monthly budget that we sit down together and develop each month and go over and keep updated each week. We keep track of all receipts and expenses each week and make sure that we are on the same page.
Real love requires a minimum of emotion and a maximum of the will - Bishop Keith W. Reed, Sr.
i agree we have a joint account for bills and a separate account each. right now, we are both living off of the joint account cause i'm not really working, but once i start i will have my own personal money and he will have his.
We have separate accounts and are responsible for separate household bills. This works well for us. In all honesty, we have never even discussed opening a joint account. Since we handle money differently, not sure if I even want to.
"I'm a work in progress, God is not through me yet"
Love lights even the darkest of paths.
What Fire doesn't destroy, only makes stronger.
Even when you don't know; God knows. I will be still and let Him do His thing.
Alone in the world; but always in the company of the Lord.
DH and I have joint checking and savings accounts and personal accounts. We save together, we pay bills together, and the personal money we do what we want with it.
My husband and I have a joint checking account for household bills and expenses. We also have a joint savings account for saving. We both maintain our separate accounts. It works for us. I'm sorry, but I need to have my own money. Askalot you are too funny!!!!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Right now FH and I have seperate accounts but when we get married we will have one. Both of us are pretty good with money. I'm the more responsible one with money so I've already been given the job of making sure checks are made out for the bills. FH has gotten into the habit already of letting me know where his money goes and what not so I don't see anything with trying it and see how things go.
FH and I have our own accounts. We have a joint account for the wedding fund and we pay for different bills separately. It works for us - once we move house, I think we'll have a joint account for bills but we will still will have our own accounts. It is so important for me to have my own money and keep my own independence. Just because we're getting married, it doesn't mean our finances have to merge too!! We both like to spend but we can save when we need to ......like now, for the wedding!!
What's mine is mine and what's his is ours ..:)
He pays all the bills, I pay the mortgage ...we are both shopaholics, so we do what we can AFTER OUR bills are paid ..:)
We go out alot too ...so we stay spending money, but again that's AFTER EVERYTHING is paid (and some is put away) ...Then we have fun with the rest!
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